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Alicia's Diary

Alicia

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3月27日

Distance Forgotten

“Just knowing that we can see each other at any time has led us to forget the distance between us.”

 

I love this sentence.

 

It’s quoted from an article talking about the phenomenon of video chats. I have never tried it, and I think I won’t be comfortable before Webcams. However, I do love the quoted feelings! It’s some kind of linkage. Ok, you may say that it’s deceiving, you can not touch the person you see, shake hands with him, needless to say to hug him. But, seeing is so magic! It just makes one believe that we are near each other! The eye is the window to the soul— I think this is why the magic works. By seeing, you believe; you see the invisible connection between each other, and you believe distance can’t dispart each other. (and by the more and more convenient transportation, such belief is well enhanced.)

 

I think I love this sentence because of the belief. I have some good friends in far-away places, and distance sometimes makes me questioning about the everlasting friendship. I think everyone likes positive energy, so I guess this is why I love those words, magic feelings.

3月22日

Stand Up!!

Anniversary!

 

Nonono~~~  It should be full moon.  Haha~~  Ok, let’s get down to the topic.  It has been a full month since I moved back home. (and It’s been almost two years away from my last Diary!) What did I do in this month? I cleaned my bedroom, went to Mazu Temple, received my colleague from Taipei, joined my contemporaries’ welcome party, went to Backstreet Boys’ concert, met my former roommates in Taipei, made acquaintances with new friends, and was surprised to see my Taipei colleague in my office! It looks like a solid list, but frankly, nothing…  I did nothing… wuwu…  I feel that I’m fooling around (the evidence is that I’m getting weight!). I have no actual schedule. I have no aim. I’m not living actively.

 

I feel I’m becoming plain…  I think to live actively makes a woman beautiful.  Quote a famous artist’s saying, “As long as you wish to be beautiful, you will be beautiful.”  Yes, I want to be beautiful!  So I should make up my plan.

 

April~May

1.      Learn earnest and humble at work.

2.      Read a book every month.

3.      CNN catch-up…

4.      Rope skipping every day

5.      Check everyday’s doing before bed

 

    Hope I will be attractive then ^_____^

6月24日

Crying

Crying in the dream

From the dream, woke up, reality.

 

How can I surmount the obstacle at heart?

The devil that lives deep in my heart.

 

Abnormal.

 

 

My value?

Should it come from “his” recognition?

I know.  I know I should live out my life.

But still, this dream lingers…

 

Anger, humiliation, hurt.

 

 
Again, wake up crying.
 
 
 
5月12日

Learning to Drive

Today is the first day I sit behind the wheel. 

I’m going to talk about what I learned this morning

 

After my instructor's demonstration, we changed seats.  Ok, I was a driver now ^^  I adjusted my seat to a comfortable driving position, put my right foot on the brake, stepped on it and wiggled the shifter to Drive gear.  Slowly, I released the brake, and the learner-driven vehicle moved!  (Ha~  That's quite different from riding a motorcycle— it moves only when a rider accelerates it.)

 

The first thing was to turn the car around a bend.  That’s quite hard for me  I don’t know when to turn the wheel and turn it back just in time.  I got into others’ lane or drove off-center while making a turn.  However, I made a beautiful turn once in a while   My instructor said I need to learn the feel of controlling the steering wheel.  And the secret lies in “practice.”

 

The second thing was to drive back and forth.  I was good at this part.  Oh, remember to shift the gear to Reverse before backing up

 

The third and much more complicated thing today was roadside parking.  I need to know where I should look, to which direction I should turn the wheel and how many turns, and when to stop.  It is like a recipe— one has steps to follow.

 

To begin is all like this— one knows rules, follows steps, practices, and drives out his own way.

 

 

 

4月24日

Look Down on Me

How would you feel if you fall short of others' expectation?  Ashamed?  Humiliated?  Indignant?

 

“I told you not to go to Hong Kong.”  “I told you to get Master of Arts.”  “Parents are not so well educated, but we are much more experienced.”  “You’ve studied in DFLL, NTU for 4 years!  Couldn’t you just teach?”  Father said.

 

Was I wrong?  Was One year in CUHK a bad decision?  Do I ask for too much?  Do I not know my own limitations?  Can’t I just do what they want if I cannot pass the entrance exam?

 

What can I do?  Something that I can do and they will feel proud of.

 

NTU background is something wrong.  If I had chosen entering a training school rather than Taichung Girls' High School, how different a situation it would be now.  I would not be expected.  If I could not do something, that would be normal; if I did something well, that would be remarkable.  But, I might lose a lot of things…

 

I should not regret the past.

 

Daughter with only university’s background seems to hold no position in a family where there are two prominent Master brothers.

 

 

 

 
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